I joined Phi Mu my
freshman year of college at Mercer University in 2003 and it was one of the
best decisions I ever made. Over the course of my 4 years at Mercer I
developed as a person and made many lasting memories, and much of that had to
do with my involvement in Phi Mu. Some of these women have continued to
be a big part of my life after college, and some I just enjoy seeing their cute
kids on facebook :) Either way, these women still mean a lot to me and I
am honored to call them sisters.
In the
midst of us building our lives after college with weddings and trips and making more
lasting memories, my sisters and I have also experienced some tragedies.
In May 2010, the longtime boyfriend of one of our sisters was killed by
an IED while serving our country in Iraq. Only 1 month later, one of our
own was killed in a car accident. And, most recently, a sister's husband,
who we also went to college with, died in a plane crash while serving our
country. Times like these fill us with deep sadness, can make you
question your faith, and just plain ask why...But, times like these also make
you feel tremendous support
from those around you, hold your loved ones a little tighter, and they
remind me of the bond I share with the incredibly strong women I get to call my
sisters.
Last
night a few of us went to see our sister, Ashley, who just lost her husband.
I haven't laughed that much in a while. Yes, you read that right.
I didn't really know what to expect, but certainly not to laugh as much
as we did! We hugged, caught up on what the week has been like for her,
logistics of this weekend, and plans and fears for the months to come, but
mostly we reminisced on old times, ate pizza, sat on the floor and laughed our
heads off. I wouldn't have cared if we would have cried the whole night,
but Ashley said the night was perfect and just what she needed. That is sisterhood!
I have
been collecting money for flowers and gift cards for Ashley and have been
honored to do so. The messages I've received, some from sisters who never
even knew me or Ashley, have been overwhelming (in a good way). I
received my first round of checks in the mail today, and felt the flood of
emotions all over again. It's also been a little overwhelming handling
the logistics - what should the flowers look like?, what should we do for a
gift card?, have we reached out to everyone? (and my skills learned
while being Sisterhood Chair and Treasurer have come in handy!). But most
of all it has truly touched my heart to see such love for Ashley.
I can't
imagine going through this. As I think back on my Valentine post, I
feel physical pain in my chest imagining losing my husband, best friend,
partner in life. While I don't want to be any less dependent on or less
close to my husband in fear that I could lose him, it makes me realize the
importance of my God being my rock. I've heard my pastor Andy Stanley say
that in tough times you can either lean toward God or against God. I hope
to continuously build a strong foundation that I would lean toward Him if faced
with an unimaginable situation. I love 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he
said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." How
comforting it is that in my weak moments in life, God's power can be made
perfect. I've been praying that Ashley will feel God's perfect peace and
comfort in this dark time in her life. Visiting with her last night and seeing
all the family at the Whitlock's house I can tell that God is at work; that is
the only way to explain it.
This weekend we will honor a true hero, loving husband, and loyal friend to so many people. I will never forget him.
So...my most spiritual post yet is titled "Phi Mu,
Hell Yeah!" Haha, well all these tragedies have also made me realize
what an amazing group of women I am a part of. Seeing everyone come
together, hearts breaking for our friend, wanting to do something, sending
cards and texts and facebook messages, collecting money for flowers and gift
cards knowing that is a minuscule offering for such an enormous loss
but it is done with such love - makes me feel both humbled and proud (is that possible?)
to be a part of this sisterhood. And, well, nothing makes me feel more
Phi Mu pride than memories of being huddled in a group of my sisters loudly
shouting, with fist pumps, "Phi Mu, Hell Yeah!"